I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
