If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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