his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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