I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
