Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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