What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
