Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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