so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
