Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
