So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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