I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
