Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
