he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
