Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
