the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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