I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just threw up on my dentist
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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