it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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