sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
