if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
