Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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