I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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