is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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