you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
