But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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