i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Welp...herpes.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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