I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
