She said her name was "party"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
