a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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