I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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