Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
