so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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