What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
