I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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