Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
