So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
