Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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