Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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