i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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