nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
