we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
