i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
