We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
