Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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