What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
