It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
