it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
