Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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