Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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