Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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