..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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