okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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