ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
